Who We Are
Do you ever wake up at 2 a.m. with such a great (weird) idea that you say to yourself "this has to be on a t-shirt!"? Or is this just us?
Freaking Lasers is an idea many, many years in the making, but some of us have short attention spans and get distracted by shiny objects. A few days of being stuck inside because of an ice storm though, and well, here we are.
We are nerds through and through, overly sarcastic, sometimes politically incorrect (we're working on it), and fans of science, technology and all the shiny objects in the world. Some of those shiny objects make appearances on our products. It may all seem random, but trust us, this means something. It's important.
The Color You Want
“Any color the customer wants, as long as it’s black.”
-Henry Ford
We only design shirts that we would actually wear, and we have closets full of endless black t-shirts. Sometimes we sneak in a dark grey shirt to throw people off, and there was once a legend about the existence of a blue or green shirt.
We design what we know, and barring some random caffeine-fueled nonsense, that tends to be darker colored shirts. If you see something you REALLY like but would like it in a different color, please go ahead and let us know. We can't promise anything, but we'll consider it.
T-shirt Test Lab
We've tested a lot of t-shirts, and some are definitely better than others. We're not fans of shrinkage (so embarrassing), we don't like colors that fade after a wash or two, and we don't like shirts that seem like they were designed to fit scrawny mannequins or lame "influencers". We are real people with real squishy torsos, and need a t-shirt that can, umm, hold it all together.
Our workhorse t-shirt is the Next Level 6210. It's a pre-shrunk unisex t-shirt, with moderate weight and texture, and comfortable as a daily driver. Most importantly, it fits true-to-size and is only semi-fitted, so it looks good on just about anyone without strangling you or flashing your belly button at complete strangers (if you're in to that kind of thing, we guess order a size or three smaller? Please don't send us pictures, we'll take your word for it).
We've been there. Buying a cool shirt and then finding out the actual shirt was spawned by satan himself and will never fit properly. Our cool shirts fit real (cool) people. These are meant to be worn, not haunt closets and remind you of what could have been.
Tags Suck
Seriously. Those scratchy little tags that they put on shirts with seemingly useless information are horrible, but we're required by law to include them for several good reasons.
Here's the secret though - while we can't sell our shirts without them, that doesn't mean you need to live a life of misery. Our shirts have tear away tags, meaning you can try your shirt on, decide you love it, and simply rip the tags off and get on with your life in comfort. And since they are tear away tags, you don't have to injure yourself playing with scissors or tear a hole in the neck of your new favorite shirt trying to "carefully" hulk the tag out.
Some day in the future, if we get really bored or drunk, we may look into printed neck labels and bypass the tags altogether. For now though, this would add additional costs that we're sure you'd rather not pay and add work that we'd rather not do. We'd rather save you a few bucks so you can enjoy more energy drinks and waffles.
AI Inside
Yes, we really took a picture of a purple Rhino. Also, in case it's not obvious, that was sarcasm and some of our stuff is AI generated because we suck at drawing a lot of things. And have you see how much it costs to procure and paint a rhino? Outrageous.
These are still our ideas, there is still a lot of work done to make the images production ready, and we still spend a lot of time arguing with a computer over whether something is appropriate to generate or how many fingers a person is supposed to have. We use AI as a tool to help bring our ideas to life, but always make sure it knows who's the boss (we think it's us?).
No Offense, Really!
So, to address the purple rhino in the room, we realize that in the course of creating our terribly awesome (awesomely terrible?) creations, someone is probably going to get offended. It's just an unfortunate reality in this day and age, but we promise that we strive to offend everyone equally.
In other words, we're not trying to offend you personally - we're trying to make people think, laugh out loud, politely chuckle, or just simply give that WTF face that means we may not be making sense again and probably need to call our therapists.
The bottom line is that we just want to enable people to express themselves through the majesty of cool t-shirts, and not trying to make a point about anything in particular. And as stated somewhere else in our rambling website, we're sure your mother is a truly wonderful individual and we meant no offense.